Creating More Appreciation In Your Relationship

Creating More Appreciation In Your Relationship

by Kara Ferreira

At Galvin Growth Group we often talk about gratitude and how it can be used to improve your outlook and mental health. Did you know that it can also improve your relationships?

Marriage experts Dr. John Gottman and Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman study partner interactions within marriage and can even predict divorce with startling accuracy. They’ve studied more than 40,000 couples and they recently wrote on there is one phrase that is used often in successful relationships.

That phrase is “Thank you”!

According to the Gottmans, a healthy relationship requires a healthy dose of appreciation. Finding things to be thankful for regarding your partner helps you to keep a positive vision about them and your relationship. Expressing your thanks to them makes them feel appreciated and positive about the relationship in turn.

They even recommend an exercise to make feeling and expressing gratitude towards your partner more commonplace.

They suggest that you really pay attention to your partner over the course of the day and physically write down all the things you notice that are positive and give you reason to feel appreciative. If you witness something negative, leave it off the list. Instead take note of anything they do for you, your kids, any errands, and so on, and write them all down.

Then be sure to take the time to thank them for some of the things that you noticed. Instead of a quick “Thank you”, share what they did and why it mattered to you. The Gottmans point out that thanking your partner for the little things they do every day can have a big impact towards making them feel appreciated in the relationship.

If you’d like to explore working with a therapist, contact us at (734) 323-4897 or for more information. Our practice, based in Novi, Michigan, is home to a team of psychologists with a wide range of expertise. We also offer teletherapy and can see anyone in the state of Michigan.

Kara is a G3 Contributing Writer.


CNBC, “Here’s the No.1 phrase used in successful relationships